Do you want to know how to change your life?
I am going to ask you a few simple questions to start the process. Why do you do what you do? Why are you friends with the people you are? Why are you here? Why do you get out of bed in the morning? Why should anyone care that you get out of bed in the morning?
How do you sell yourself everyday? What marquis sign is over your head that is defining every aspect of your life?
I’m going to break this down for personal and for business.
Your personal message probably sounds like this:
I am a great person. I should have success. I always give so much and do everything for everyone but often find that people don’t really appreciate or notice all that I do. I feel like I get ahead and I am dragged back into the gunk of life. I’m just tired of things not working out how I want but I will find a way to have the life I want because I have always overcome my struggles.
You sound upbeat and committed. You are aware you do create value to the ones around you, but the bleed through that your sign is saying is that you are working at changing your life from what you don’t want to what you do want. This is actually what is keeping you from the life you want.
If you’re an entrepreneur, your message probably sounds something like this:
I have a great product that you need. It will help you to succeed, even if you have failed in the past. It is simple to use and will bring you the results you want. Want to buy it?
You are saying what you do, how your product is different or better and that you expect some sort of sale, but it is not inspiring anyone to buy.
Combining business and personal ideas from above.
People don’t “buy” what you believe, they buy WHY you live your life. The Universe gives you the situations you have because of your subconscious patterns and how well you know yourself and live what you truly believe.
Every thought, word and decision you make in your life is a form of communication. This is why authenticity matters. The things you think, say and do are symbols of who you actually are. People look for those symbols to find people that believe what they believe. If you are putting out false symbols, you will attract people to you, but you won’t attract people that trust you or are loyal to you and who you are.
Your subconscious thoughts, beliefs and views of the world and especially the hard times you have been through continues to recreate the same situation but with a different face over and over again. It’s not about moving away from the painful situation, it’s about living in a place where situations like those can never exist. Moving away from something or wanting out of a situation just keeps sending out symbols that keep attracting the things you don’t want. Stop focusing on what has happened and create a new story.
People lie. They tell us what we want to hear and it sounds great. We are drawn to the promise of it, especially when we are hungry because we are separated from our why. The sad thing is that 98% of people do not even know they are lying and living inauthentically. I’ve done it, you’ve done it and we all have done it. While it has not been with malicious intent, it has always backfired or fizzled and we are left wondering why.
Psychology keeps us separated from ourselves and others.
If you say what you believe and do what you believe, you will attract people who believe what you believe and the situations in your life reflect this.
Whether you are marketing or selling yourself to a lover, friend, or the grocery store clerk, we figure out early on how people want us to talk to them and how we can get them to trust us so we can ultimately get what we want; whether it is money, appreciation, a relationship, acceptance or something else. While it may temporarily give us what we are seeking, it falls apart over time and here is why…
We are using psychology to manipulate people to get what we want instead of being authentically us. This really is as ridiculous as you going to your friends and asking them what you can wear and how you should speak to them so they will like you more. Your friends want you to be you. Just to be yourself. We don’t need psychology research to tell us how to be authentic to people. You see, mostly everything in life teaches us how to be inauthentic and we listen because we think lying to people is the way to get what we want – although most people will never see this as lying. We are never taught how to be authentic. We are surrounded by people and organizations doing what they do to get their needs met and we follow the stream not knowing any differently, until we do.
How to get real in your life is through being authentic, but first you have to know who you are.
Here is the technique: Ask 3 friends why they like you. Keep digging. Don’t accept the surface answers of: you’re a nice person, you’re generous, you’re loyal, etc. When they start getting into how they feel around you, now you are getting somewhere. Use this and extract from them exactly how you make them feel and how you benefit them. This is starting to get to your why. Your unique gifts are what you can bring to people on a larger scale; more than just to the people surrounding you.
If there are inconsistencies in what you say or do, people will start to back off and either think that you are not firm in what you believe or that you are lying to them. We create these symbols through our unique gifts.
Feel a part of something bigger than yourself because this is where self-power is at. Everyone wants to be heard and they use the people that have the skills to project authentic symbols to say something about who they are. The more defined your why is, the more open and the more authentic you become, the more people begin to connect through your symbols.
As people we have to stop taking a selfish perspective and going for what we want and ignore the wants, needs, and desires of anyone else. The only way we truly become fulfilled is to do something for someone else. Statistics say that 90% of people don’t feel fulfilled in life.
Do you know why? Because we have become a “me, me, me” society and if we do help someone more often than not it becomes a begrudging chore, a passive aggressive attempt at proving how good we are, or because it is expected of us. We aren’t unhappy because of the job, the pay or the environment, it’s because we don’t help each other any more. Anytime we turn to someone it is because we need something, not because we are going to give something.
Take your facebook page, twitter, pinterest, Instagram or your blog and build a community that reaches around the world because it will not only strengthen you, but will strengthen other people as well. The side effect is that you will come out stronger and more successful and so will everyone else that touches your path. This will begin the process has begun the steps of finding your passion.
You know, I believe I succeed because of this community I am in. I have learned about success that I have never even come close to understanding before. I made a commitment to help others reach their goals and dreams and to help them get from where they are currently to where they want to be. I feel the powerful, caring, and productive world out there and I have just begun to tap it, so why waste any more time making your mark on this world! Harness your why and run with it!